Let me start the story of an alarming discovery I’ve made by going back a week or so, to my last Trader Joe’s visit. I was cruising through the aisles, fast, because no matter what time you go to that store there’s always a million people and I wanted to get my stuff and get out before I had a chance to think homicidal thoughts toward the person blocking the soup section. Also I had a cart full of frozen pizzas and fish, so it was all basically a race against time anyway. I was in the section by the nuts, scanning the shelves for anything I needed, dried cranberries-yes, what else what else … and I see a bag of banana chips. Cheap, too, for a big bag. “I don’t get enough servings of fruit,” I thought to myself. “When I buy it, it ends up going bad because I don’t eat it fast enough. Banana chips? Cannot go bad.” So I threw them into my cart. If only I knew then what I knew now, the bag probably would have travelled through the air in slow motion as creepy organ music of doom played in my ear.
Fast forward to today, where I have made the choice to eat some healthful banana chips rather than a chocolate peanut butter granola bar, and I happened to turn over the bag to see how much good the banana chips were doing for my body. Well, guess what? They’re not doing ANY good. They’re actually clogging my arteries. One ounce=48% of my saturated fat for the day. Because according to the ingredient list, they are apparently soaked in coconut oil. And there aren’t any vitamins in them. NONE. The only vaguely positive thing listed is fiber. 4% of my daily allowance. So basically, I’m eating chips of FAT whose sole contribution to my health is that they’ll make me 4% regular. Does anyone realize this? Why are banana chips included in healthy-type snacks like trail mix? Why are they in the aisle next to actual healthy snacks like dried apricots when they should be next to, say, bacon?
Maybe this was common knowledge to most people, and I’ve just been oblivious to this imposter food that has been sitting in my cabinet waiting to kill me. They don’t even taste very good, and are sort of gross if you think about it. Now that I know that they’re also a waste of the energy it takes to eat them, not to mention artery-clogging, I feel like I need to get the word out. Hence this post. Go, spread the news of this silent killer.
Now, could someone please tell me why I can’t stop eating them?